When five weeks ago I start a challenge I did not expect how hard it could be even to start.
Usually looking forward to the future, I always see bright and shiny opportunities and always overestimate my mental and physical capabilities to achieve the aims.

This report is not anyhow about the product I'm going to build or the problem I want to fix but about the mental state I have and my understanding where it should be to make me able at least build something that creates value to other peoples.

A little bit of my background

Mindset of the slave

I spent half of decade being led by other people who almost always told me what to do, and their product vision and plan was far away from my understanding. This situation became a habit and moreover a mental state that prevents me from moving forward and become less dependent on other people.

Lack of self-confidence

From the other hand, I always had a plenty of ideas but never was too confident in them to start building or executing any of them and now when I see how someone else made it and got quite a lot of traction I understand that ideas were good, but my self-uncertainty is ruin everything. Unfortunately for the person like me, it is easy to grasp this only looking backward.

Plan to solve this issues

Right now having this understanding I have a plan to converge to these problems into the one mental model that could help me with achieving my goal. From my point of view, both of them is easily solvable by just doing stuff.

For example, there is no way to learn how to build a product without even trying to do it, and the same applies to the self-confidence if I'll only generate ideas and never get a feeling of satisfaction from having real customers I never could be more confident in my plans.

I got an excellent lesson many years ago that quite often helps me to make a decision; I always try to estimate worst case scenario. Let's try to analyze what could happen if I will start building some of my random ideas into products then worst case scenario actually looks like a win.
In the end, I will have a bunch of the products that I build and spend few hundreds of euro but obtain a precious experience of solving other people problems and making a product from scratch.

How I came up with this plan

Feedback from other people

During the last few weeks, I start asking various of people to give me feedback about the stuff that I'm doing, and maybe they have some suggestions and could give me any advice. The combination of the advice I got was exactly the trigger that let me understand that my current mindset is not able to produce the acceptable solution to the problem and with keeping it I will not be able to finish my challenge.

One of my friends just combine dozens of quotes from my posts that shows how I mostly care about myself and not about the value I create for other people. His explanation proves me that there is no way to build a sustainable business with the focus on self instead of an emphasis on the value I could bring to the people around me.

Another amazing advice, showing how many accents I do on the coding part of the starting a business rather than on research and proper problem-solving.

Internal struggle

Keeping focus

I am still having a huge problem with constant desire to change what I'm going every 5-15 minutes with this approach it is tough to build something or do proper research, so I'm looking for possible solutions.

One of the possible approach that I find it to go back in time and use only analog instruments and "think on the paper." I just pick my favorite pen and few pieces of paper and just write all my thoughts, this approach is working pretty well for now, but has one disadvantage require someone to digitalize it in the end.

Fight between the rational and emotional brain parts

The left part of my brain knows for sure what I have to do to solve one or another problem, but right emotional part of the brain was just screaming all the time in horror and stop me from doing anything just lay on the floor and procrastinate.

I found one solution to this problem but did not test in yet, so it is something in the hypothesis state now - if my rational part of the brain knows what I should do then I just have to let it plan future steps and make a plan. After I have exact scenario, well split into steps, I could just blindly execute it every day for a few hours in a row.
The general idea behind this approach is to block the screaming part and start acting according to the goal.